he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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