I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
