hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
