where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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