My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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