Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
