My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
