i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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