it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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