Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
