I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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