Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
