I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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