i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
