Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude i'm inner monologue high
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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