your thong is hanging out like whoa
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
