You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
