She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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