This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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