Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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