He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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