just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
