DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The beer is more important than you right now.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
