We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Damn victory sex feels great
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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