I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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