I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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