Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
