I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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