Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
