i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
