whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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