There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
