I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
please come you make the beer taste better
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
