sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you still have your period?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
