I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
