I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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