There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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