Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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