Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
