Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
