I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
