I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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