And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
