he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
