i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
