Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
