Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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