I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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