don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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