eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
And then he peed in my hair
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
